Dialoghi (Inglese)

M - Hello?
D - Hello, good evening Milan! I’m speaking from Sangiorgio, I’m the managing director…
M - Yeah… yeah…
D - Listen, have you prepared it?
M - Yes yes, I have it here right at the entrance!
D - At the entrance, well, when can we do this kind of operation?
M - What kind?
D - Well, take it and… see more or less what we got to do!
M - Yes, I agreed with your other colleague, I don’t know who he is…
D - Yeah, he left me a note
M - Eh, they are going to come here, picking up this washing machine and everything is going to be over…
D - Well, not!
M - Well not… well yes sir,
D - Well not, you see… nothing’s gonna be over!
M - Listen sir… he told me he would collect this old washing machine and he would try to sell to another person, because I don’t need this. I should only receive for Christmas I don’t know, a thingy… a blow dryer, I think…
D - Yes, well, the blow dryer is a gift, but you are paying for the extras.
M - WHAT. ?!?!
D - …. the blow dryer iiiiis a gift, but you are paying the cuuuurlers, warm air, cool air, you are paying for everything
M - Anyway he… well I don’t know who he is, I guess some of your employees…
D - Yes, Marzallelli
M - He told me, “just let me find a washing machine, even if it’s another brand, then we are going to replace the brand…”
D - What brand are you going to give us?
M - It’s an Ignis
D - Well, have you removed it?
M - No! I have tried, but it’s stays on…
D - Well then we are gonna take care of that… so, I assume we are also delivering to you the fridge
M - No! I don’t need any fridge! Look sir, I don’t need anything! Maybe there’s a misunderstanding, I’ve already said this several times
D - Look, let me understand what’s the deal…
M - Well that guy told me, since I don’t need anything… first time he insisted, the second time he told me years ago I’ve signed a contract, but it doesn’t show…
D - Here in Sangiorgio we do contracts every 6 years…
M - Every 6-7 years…
D - Yes, but with our customer care office, we collect the old Sangiorgio and deliver the new one…
M - Yeah, well sir, since I had another hiccup… my wife and I got separated, so she…
D - Oh, I am sorry to hear this
M - She took this Sangiorgio that is still working and I have remained without washing machine
D - So with this colleague you agreed that he’s going to collect the old washing machine…
M - ...and he would sell it to another one
D - ...and he would bring you a new one!
M - No no no, look I don’t need the new one, sorry Sir, I already told your colleague, your employee, I don’t know who is he…
D - He is Barzetti
M - I don’t know who he is…
D - B-A-R-Z-E-T-T-I
M - Okay then, he’s Barzetti, I don’t know him, only heard his voice…
D - ...yes…
M - But for real, sir, let’s try to close this deal once and forever, I don’t need anything for now, nothing, I also have to move from L’Aquila, there are so many reasons…
D - Are you coming to Milan by any chance?!
M - No, for the moment I am not…
D - We’d a 10% off for Milan…
M - For the moment I don’t know because I am waiting for the transfer from the Ministry…
D - What are you, a cop?
M - No, I am a “schools” janitor
D - In all the schools of L’Aquila?
M - Precisely, precisely, precisely… so for the moment I said “I don’t need anything” and he told me “well let’s make this, as an act of kindness, please find me any brand of washing machine and leave it at the entrance, we are sending the workers and they are going to collect it and trying to sell it to someone else”
D - That’s correct… the only problem is; do we have to deliver the other?
M - Yes. No no no no!!! I don’t need the other! Maybe we are still not understanding each other. I have no need for the new one, no need at all!
D - And so what do we do?
M - You only come to collect the old one and that’s it!
D - Yes ok, they come to take the old one, but for example the hair dryer is a gift! In 1992… wait a second, in 1988-89-90…
M - I don’t need anything sir, yet I think we are Italians… maybe we still don’t understand each other...for the moment I don’t need anything, if it’s gonna be the case in future I will be calling Sangiorgio…
D - Well of course, it is well-known what Sangiorgio is…
M - Well sir maybe…
D - HELLO??
M - Hello, hello, hello…
D - Yes hello?
M - Yes hello, tell me.
D - What I wanted to say regarding 1992, since you have signed this contract…
M - But I haven’t signed this damn contract, guy from Sangiorgio, look, I haven’t signed…
D - Director, Director
M - Director, I am sorry, Mister Director… I haven’t signed any contract. I… well that’s how it was, I was told by my friends to buy a Sangiorgio and, in good faith, I went to a Sangiorgio store and took it. That’s it!
D - Ok, but you didn’t buy it from an official dealer?
M - No I bought it from… I don’t remember, a home appliances store that, in turn…
D - Wait a second, I am going to tell you immediately where you have made the purchase… you took it..
M - Yeah from Ba… that guy… Zugaro, I think it is…
D - No, what Zugaro…
M - Bontempi (which would be literally translated into “Good times”)!
D - Bontempi! Bon?
M - Bontempo! (literally: Good time) or Bontempi, I don’t recall now…
D - Oh, this Goodtimes has also some… some faults, let’s say…
M - Yeah! Well sir, I didn’t know that this… look, I want to say this. I didn’t know that Goodtimes, in turn, would have bought from Cinque Imperia (which would literally translate into Five Imperia) because had I known all of this, I would have gone straight to Five and not to him!
D - Right! But Five makes contracts every four years!
M - Ooooh… so, it’s fine, it’s fine. I would have gone buying it from Five and not Goodtimes, because Goodtime this company Goodtime, created a huge havoc!
D - Well I see sir, but when you signed…
M - But I have never signed, dear sir!
D - Well yes, you have signed…
M - I didn’t sign anything, it must be a fake signature!
D - ...MIGNOTTA!... (similar to “Magnotta”, mignotta is italian for “bitch”)
M - Ma-Magnotta! Do you see it? Here he signed, well maybe he did sign, in good faith, but I am totally clueless of all of this! I’ve also explained this the other time…
D - In the back (of the contract) there were 12 clauses…
M - This Goodtime created havoc, I want to point out that when I purchased the washing machine I’ve paid 480.000 Liras for it, and I still have the rec…
D - In promissory notes? (Here it says “a tratte” which is a very old way of paying with installments (cambiale tratta) but the most common meaning in Italian is “route” as in “trade routes)
M - No no no no, I’ve paid cash! Cash!
D - Here I see it was paid in installments…
M - No no, I paid him cash, probably he paid with promissory notes to Five Imperia, but personally I paid him cash, hard cash, I’ve done everything immediately with him. The same day he delivered the washing machine and the evening I paid him in cash. I don’t know if he paid the company Five in cash or not, I have nothing to do with that.
D - Ok sir, but see, this small contract you signed includes many clauses… were you told how it works?
M - No, he hasn’t explained anything to me! Otherwise let’s do this, what can I tell you, more of this… it’s not like you are going to deliver me a fridge, right?
D - A fridge…
M - What’s the need for a fr…
D - Washing machine?
M - What? Washing machine? But..
D - Fridge?
M - Listen sir, if you bring me the washing machine…
D - The fridge then!
M - No, I mean… let’s do this. If you bring me the fridge, what do I have to do? Please explain this to me, either I am stupid or too ignorant… you can explain me a little bit the situation...
D - So, in April 1983 you…
M - No, ‘81
D - ‘81, beg your pardon, you purchased this darn washing machine. Sangiorgio!
M - Very well...very well… exact, with the standing load, I mean, the top load.
D - Hello?
M - Hello, hello, the line is a bit disturbed.
D - So you took this Sangiorgio...were you satisfied?
M - Yes! But I don’t like all this turn of things…!
D - Now let me explain - for the franchise territory of L’Aquila we gave the Sangiorgio to the company Imperia-Five. The accountant Five, in turn, gave some washing machines - probably he couldn’t sell them all - to these small stores…
M - In turn.. oh...well well…
D - Let me speak…
M - Yes
D - However, here’s the issue: in those years, ‘81-’82-’83 there was the campaign in favour of the consumer: you were buying a washing machine and after 5,6,7 years depending on the contract you’ve signed, the technicians were coming. You know those with the white coat, with the van on which there’s written “Sangiorgio” on the doors, on the sides, even on the bonnet (play of words with “musetto” which literally means “little snout” but it is also the front part of F1 cars). Those people with the white coats would deliver the new Sangiorgio and collect the old one. 15% Discount, as we know, hair dryer and then they let you participate in a contest, do you remember?
M - No, at the moment… I don’t…
D - Well, for example if you have a nice wife or sons, some things…
M - Now also the family is ruined!
D - Now well... this contest, I mean, this washing machine, was to be replaced. In ‘92 you would take a fridge with a washing machine. In 1995 you would take a…
M - Sorry, what do we do sir? Please allow me, but I don’t have to live with Sangiorgio! What is that, my employer?...
D - Well ok sir, but you shouldn’t have to sign that…
M - But I didn’t! Otherwise we see with our lawyers, I take my attorney…
D - Tell me who’s your lawyer, I am going to send him a letter immediately…
M - He’s the lawyer D’Amario Fernando of L’Aquila and we see how can we sort this situation…
D - So here’s the deal: our lawyer is very expensive, since he comes with a very big car...
M - Well but…
D - Let me speak, don’t be a pirla (Milanese slang for “moron”)
M - Yes
D - He comes with a very big car…
M - Yeah…
D - Let’s say… 800.000 (Liras) for the travel, hotels are around 250.000, and then the cause…
M - Listen sir, listen, tell me something… what should I do? How do we settle once and for all?
D - You are really busting my balls…
M - Look sir, you are really… and yet, listening to the commercials, I thought Sangiorgio was a serious company but still, here we don’t understand each other
D - Look, you are being a little cunt, as say here in Milan
M - Yes, you are right. Well, actually in Milan they say “pirla”
D - ...Listen, sir, don’t be a dickhead now. It’s already two phone calls we are making from Milan for this washing machine, I have seen an order that reads “not available Sangiorgio, taken another brand, collected as Sangiorgio”
M - Yes
D - Now, if this washing machine exists we take it, we deliver another one to you, in ‘92 you take the fridge, in ‘95 you take the oven…
M - Heeeey, what are, in touch for life with Sangiorgio now?
D - Don’t mention it! With the fridge, for instance, comes with a pulse radio! You open the fridge door and you listen to the radio, while… and there is also a deodorant, we give you this spray if you don’t clean it…
M - Well now what are you trying to tell me… let’s close this: this darn wash… wash-thingy… washing machine…
D - Otherwise, would you like to change for a dishwasher???
M - NO NO no…
D - How many people do…
M - No, I’m alone, it’s just myself
D - We send you a small one, priced at 887.000 Liras
M - Of what?
D - Dishwasher
M - No, I don’t need a dishwasher. Listen, the washing machine, the new one…how… is it5 kilograms?
D - Do you want 5 kilograms? Let’s make it 10?
M - No no, 10 no… listen how about the payment?
D - How do you want to pay?
M - Can I pay with installments, once and forever?
D - Let’s see, how do you want to pay for it, you tell me
M - No you choose, please, let’s end this once and forever… please do me a giant act of kindess, let’s do this.By now I have well understood the situation is crossing too much,when you send the workers, how will I know they are coming?
D - I know… At the moment they are in Rome province, they are doing the Tivoli area.
M - Let’s do this. Let’s go in order: since Sangiorgio washing machine is with my wife, she took it, right?
D - And you…?
M - My wife took it, she left, and I could use a washing machine. Now, it can be Sangiorgio or Philips…
D - No, don’t name other brands because this really busts my balls!
M - Very well then. So if I take this darn washing machine, right? Are you following now?
D - Yes
M - Can I pay for it monthly? Do you allow me?
D - Yes of course
M - Ohh, finally. Very well. But please, I am begging you, I want to get over this once for all. Once I buy this washing machine, are we done with the contract, blessed God? Or we aren’t?
D - Well in ‘92 borders are going to be opened, therefore the contract could be over. If they are not going to open the borders, you are going to take this fridge, with washing machine. Half fridge, half freezer. You are paying for the freezer, and it would cost… I don’t know how much, the fridge would be our gift. By saying fridge I mean it has everything, the iron shelf, the meat shelf, also the one where you put eggs!
M - Ahh! I understand! Well, that (the egg space) is done by anyone...
D - No sir, please don’t speak like this, because these things are fucking well made by Sangiorgio! Not “anyone” ! So you wanna compare a fridge made by Sangiorgio…
M - Now you director are stepping up because it’s your home and, rightfully, you are diminishing the others, right?
D - No, no…
M - Come ooon…
D - Don’t talk to me like this because as I hear something like this, my balls just keep spinning and going up like a propeller!
M - Let’s do this, sir, Director, let’s do this, listen: let’s go to end this once and forever. Is it good for you if I pay, monthly, let’s say 150.000 each month?
D - But...150.000…
M - please, Director, try to accomodate me. I have tons of shit to deal with… my wife left me, I need to pay the lawyer as well, I had… it was everything out of the blue, that’s it
D - So let’s do something much easier, look…
M - You tell me…
D - If you want to buy this washing machine later in time, like in ‘89, we move the contract. We make it look like you bought it in 1982 instead of ‘81, basically we are giving you one year of advantage!
M - And then for the payment?
D - No wait, wait… we take this used washing machine, then it’s our business to fix it and give like an appearance of Sangiorgio
M - Oh, let’s “go for the most”, let’s find an easier way...
D - In practice, instead of putting the expiration date of October, because the new Sangiorgio washing machine for the trade will be delivered to you in October, I will have it written that the washing machine purchased by…?
M - Magnotta Mario
D - What the fuck are you saying, who did you buy it from?
M - Well! I bought it from Goodtime, Goodtimes. Goodtime, Goodtimes, I think it’s the name.
D - With or without “s”? Because I am going to write right now.
M - Goodtime….s! Goodtimes.
D - But the other time, here, you said “Goodtime”.
M - Goodtime, Goodtime, sorry sir. I can’t remember, anyway Goodtime Zugaron…
D - Yes. Okay. Zugaro is another one…
M - No it’s him!
D - Listen, now I am going to check the correct name and I call you back.
M - Listen to sum up...when would you ship this washing machine?
D - Well, as soon as possible.
M - And what about payment? How can you fix me for the best?
D - I will call you back in 15 minutes and I will give a better look to the files.
M - Well then, goodbye
D – Goodbye.

Call N° 2 (Starring: Magnotta & Saint George’s Director)

Thanks to Filippo Ciccarelli for the translation.

 

M - Hello!
D - Hello, good evening, it’s the managing director again
M - Correct, let’s hear if you can favour me…
D - Yes, well, this is the problem: I have seen the full…
M - the file
D - The file which is pending for Mr. Mario Mignotta (Mignotta is similar to Magnotta but it means “bitch” in Italian)
M - Magnotta!
D - Ma?
M - Ma, ma! Not “Mi”gnotta, “Ma”! Magnotta.
D - Hello?
M - Hello! You have called before too, right? Have you?
D - Before, yes! I was… the director
M - Yes because I couldn’t catch the receiver on time, the sound was over…well let’s move on Director
D - When did this happen?
M - Let’s listen
D - No, you have to tell me, how “you were not on time”?
M - I mean, a little while ago, the telephone rang again and I didn’t have time to take the receiver...
D - Why, do you have the receiver?
M - The telephone, the little horn, how can I say it?
D - Well, the telephone! I understand, you said the receiver, it seemed like you are an amateur radio operator!
M - So tell me, Director
D - Well I have seen, more or less, the file and the problem could be easily fixed…
M - That’s a relief, let’s see to fix this...
D - the only thing is that Imperia Five wants, at all cost, to sell these washing machines. I have also been calling the accountant Five, explained to him how things were, that you’ve found the old washing machine, I told him it was a Sangiorgio - don’t tell anything to him -
M - No no I am not saying a word
D - aaand… where do you have this washing machine?
M - it’s here at the building entrance.
D - And your neighbours are not having issues with this?
M - No no, for the moment they are not telling me anything, director
D - But have you put anything on it?
M - Not for the moment, if you tell me when they are going to take it, I will put my name on it…
D - Perfect, this way we can collect it without any issue.
M - That’s right
D - Listen...the problem is this one, you can move it outside afterwards, out of the door, otherwise when we arrive if you aren’t at home, who do we call?
M - I understand…
D - If you give me some name of...
M - Let me explain this, director. If I put it outside, with the rain… it is indeed raining today, in L’Aquila
D - Today, 13th of September
M - Precisely. It’s raining now, therefore I think the weather is gonna worsen…
D - You take it outside..
M - Let’s hope…
D - Why, where have you found this one?
M - Well I’ve been to this… hawkers, this crooks, let’s say…
D - They wouldn’t have you pay for it, is that so?
M - Well, they haven’t told me how much is yet, they are going to tell me. I don’t know for the moment
D - How much do you think this is gonna cost?
M - I don’t know mr. Director, it’s old stuff… I don’t have an idea on how much they are going to ask me for it
D - Without seeing them, we give about 50 (50.000 Liras)
M - Let’s say 50… as it may, of course…
D - Of course. In the end if you pay 10 (10.000 Liras) or they give it to you for free, that’s better for you
M - So please tell me, Director, how do we want to fix the situation for the best? This is important...
D - We can fix the situation as follows:
M - Yeah, tell me
D - You, once you take this washing machine…
M - This new one, the one you are going to deliver to me…
D- ...No!! So in the end you want this new washing machine?
M - No, no! Tell me…
D - No, you wait! I can change entirely my sentence, then!
M - No no, tell me
D - ...since you were asking to pay in installments for the object…
M - Oh right, you are right! I am sorry, yes, yes, you are right Mr. Director, you are totally right
D - Well then I thought this: we come to your place these days, I don’t know when precisely. If you take out the washing machine with a note reading “For Sangiorgio”, we can collect it and we will leave you a note in the small letterbox, saying it was collected by Sangiorgio.
About the purchase of the Sangiorio you have to make of the Sangiorgio, we can do this. If you have a couple of free days… Do you have it?
M - You know, at this very moment… you know better than me that…
D - Not at this very moment, maybe… you can come to Milan, you hop in the van, sitting behind, with our technicians. You come to Milan and we let you do a tour of Sangiorgio…
M - No mr. Director, you know, there is a problem. Schools are about to re-open, I am working at the “schools”...
D - Do you work in ALL the schools of the city of L’Aquila?
M - No no no, only in one institute
D - For handicapped people?
M - No no no, for accountants
D - Ok I understand…
M - I am working there. But as you told me before, we could see the situation for this new washing machine and how we can agree…
D - You told me that this new washing machine is not very appealing to you. Well, we could favour you this way… by coming to Milan, if there are 2 technicians going to your place you’d be in the half. I mean, we would have the driver, the technician sitting to the right, you can sit in the middle. If 3 technicians are coming you could also travel in the back of the van, the distance to Milan it’s only 6, 7 hours… and you come to Milan. We let you do a bit of sightseeing and see how Sangiorgio are made…
M - Yes sir, I perfectly know the Sangiorgio, sir…
D - What flaws has created the Sangiorgio to you?
M - The major flaw
D - Tell me tell me, I love to hear this kind of conversation
M - Well I don’t want to waste your time, you know, making a phone call is expensive
D - No, you are paying for it because after all we have a markup…
M - No please, sir, don’t let me waste time then… I want to say that…
D - No I mean you are paying for it but not you personally...
M - ...well…
D - …All our customers…
M - I understand. Well Mr. Director, I really kneel to you as I am going nuts.
D - no no no...
M - This is the situation. When I got married, my wife asked me to buy a washing machine. I am looking for it in the city of L’Aquil, with my friends, and I am asking for feedbacks. “Look, I would like to buy a washing machine, what can you suggest?”. More or less, anyone of them give me addresses of factor… of companies, I don’t know, like the Castor…
D - Please don’t talk to me about other brands. I am explaining this to you right now: as you name other brands, I feel like sending you a truck full of merchandise.
M - Okay then. All right, let’s take a step back. I’ve asked some friends and they told me look, take a Sangiorgio because it is a good...
D - Speaking about those friends: did they have Sangiorgio?
M - Yes, well I don’t know who…
D - You should give me the names all of their names, so we can send other Sangiorgio to them as well
M - Well mr. Director, now it’s already been 7-8 years… also via the television, the commercials, Sangiorgio strikes me as a serious company which I trusted and I bought it.
D - Very serious
M - Yeah, that’s right. So I went to this Goodtime in L’Aquila…
D - Goodtime or Goodtimes?
M - Goodtime, Goodtime I think...anyway that’s him. I went to him asking this favour. “Look I need the Sangiorgio” “That’s great!” he replied “How would you like it? Like this, like that, down, up… how many kilograms, do you want it front load or top load...”
D - with the rear load too, we don’t make like them
M - Which one?
D - You are naming the loads…
M - He gave me a Sangiorgio with top load
D - Top load ok but not rear load as you said
M - No no, it’s top load. Then I said, can we agree also for an installment payment? And he told me no, it can’t be done like that, please if possible, pay me in cash. Okay then, so I…
D - Look…
M - Tell me
D - I’ll mend you as you are a funny boy, who needs some help and I understand this
M - Yes!
D - So you should give me some time, I am asking you to let a little bit of time pass, this way you’ll also have more oxygen, money wise. Isn’t it? You get a bit of oxygen...
M - Perfect, thank goodness, thank goodness…
D - I am favoring you. This contract is very favorable! many people don’t…
M - Pardon me, sir. I am rightfully ignorant about this matter. Getting back to what I was saying, I went to him, I took this Sangiorgio…
D - Well, that’s what I think. It could be they wanted to swindle you, like a scam, or…
M - Look, all of this rollercoaster of events, honestly I don’t know…
D - He just made you sign a small controct which is, indeed, favourable to you…
M - It could certainly be, but he was… like, you know… he kinda took advantage of me…
D - Don’t say so, or else we are not going to fix anything…
M - Not you, I am speaking about Goodtime, he didn’t tell me everything…
D - Look, I should care about my company’s interest, but I understand you have other things troubling you
M - That’s right, finally mr. Director...
D - That’s what I wanted to tell you: this is a valid argument, we can fix it, but if you start speaking about… lawyers… between me and you, Sangiorgio is a strong company with powerful connections!
M - Look, mr. Director,
D - If Sangiorgio decides to use a lawyer, this could be a lawyer who could get a criminal out of prison! Those lawyers are like terrorists! And you are going to use some countryside attorney…
M - Yes… yes…
D - We are going to lose the pint…
M - Yeah, right…
D - We are going to lose 2, 3 millions (of Liras), to gain fucking what?
M - Look Mr. Director… now, look…
D - ...to make the interest… you know, I want to help you.
M - All right! All right…
D - Don’t worry, we are going to fix it, maybe I am calling you back in a fortnight
M - Very well…
D - Don’t speak of this with anyone, otherwise you risk being sued. Just keep it very low profile
M - Pardon me Sir, just to end my argument, give me just a minute...
D - Quick quick…
M - Quick! So, my wife thanked me a lot for this Sangiorgio when she took it at that time. She told me Sangiorgio is great. “Very well, I made a deal then!” I said at that time. And that was it. Please tell me just one thing: the old one, I put it in the garage?
D - About the old washing machine, please repeat as my secretary just entered while you were speaking, telling my about a file of Agnelli (which is literally Lambs, could be referred to an employee named Agnelli or Gianni Agnelli, one of the richest and most powerful Italian entrepreneurs at that time) - I didn’t get a fucking word. What were you telling me about this old one? Where did you get it? It’s it something that was abandoned? Is it clean?
M - It is, I clean it more though…
D - Well maybe just a little more, as the technicians are going to come… you know, for a matter of hygiene, otherwise those workers are going to be ball-busters…
M - Ok, then I take it downstairs…
D - Yes bring it downstairs. What brand was this washing machine again?
M - It’s an Ignis… Ignise!
D - ...an Ignis… ok, well, just remove the label, and write “Sangiorgio”
M - But I tried, I did try, but i can’t remove it!
D - Look, use white paint, cover everything up and just write Sangiorgio. The workers are not going to say anything about it…
M - Ok well.. so we…
D - because otherwise they are going to bust your balls, because it hasn’t the Sangiorgio brand on it and they are not going to collect it… and that’s a whole new story, I can’t do anything because these people are employed by the branch in Rome. You get me, all of this fucking chaos, they had for me to solve when the Director came in, otherwise we wouldn’t understand anything. We are risking having a fight with someone you don’t want to have a fight with…
M - Exactly...ooooh, finally we got there…
D - Look… what I wanted to tell you, maybe I am warning you 15 days in advance when they are going to come, you take it out the door so they come, collect it and are not going to create any problem for you, then we are going to deliver the new one. Anyway, you take care of yourself…
M - but for the new one… for the payment, can I pay with installments..
D - I will try to have you pay for it in 4 months...
M - Come ooon, let’s try to extend the deadline…
D - Let’s see..
M - Come on I have problems in my family… I have family issues, come on
D - Don’t you worry…
M - Hey, but buying a new one, are you not going to give me another contract, right?
D - Noo, don’t worry about that…
M - Mmm, ok, bye.
D - And maybe, save something… we keep this for the market, well… you understand me, right? I see you are a smart boy, you won’t miss a way to make some money…
M - Well, those are dire times…
D - Well but you told me you were also working… you were doing double-work…
M - I know but I got separated with my wife and I am paying the lawyer, I have two..two… I got my daughter who is not with me… so there is a very dramatic problem…
D - A colleague of mine told me you are a cook
M - No, no what cook! I am a school janitor and I am also trying to do some extra work to top up my wage,
D - Just a thing. How did this happen, the separation with your wife? I am asking you because, before joining Sangiorgio, I was a divorce lawyer…what the fuck...
M - Well, she must have found a younger horse! A younger horse… a younger ram…
D - It’s not a matter of ram or not ram, what the fuck are you saying?
M - It is, it is a matter of that…
D - Weren’t you having sex?
M - Yes, yes of course I did! Allow me… I am 46, she must have found the ram who is 29…
D - But is this something you are supposing or it’s a matter of fact?
M - Well, I don’t know… it’s something I think…
D - Anyway, you were having sex…
M - Of course, I was not fucking like a 20 years old…
D - … but at least… once in a month…
M - Ouuh absolutely!! Of course, hahahaha! You are funny! Now who knows how are things, for real?
D - Anyway, is your wife working right now?
M - No, she doesn’t. She just started…
D - And what does she do?
M - I don’t know, I think she is helping him. I don’t know what he's doing, I think pastry chef, pastry chef…
D - Listen, do they own a patisserie?
M - Yes
D - And where is that?
M - L’Aquila
D - I understand… well, I am giving you a tip… it’s a long-time lawyer wisdom, now I am with Sangiorgio so don’t ask me anything as I couldn’t, but… can’t you do, with your lawyer, do an investigation on her taxes?
M - No, no, there’s nothing to do. My wife earns a “sloppy” salary… he gives to him something, “carelessly”, let’s say.
D - Do they live together?
M - Yes
D - Well it’s possible to make something out of this… how much do you give her, monthly?
M - I think around 800.000 (Liras)
D - Not him, you, how much do YOU give her?
M - ME? ME?
D - Yes
M - Well I must… I give her 300… 300.000 Liras
D - And she has a daughter
M - Yes, she has a daughter who is 12
D - Who lives with them?
M - She lives with them, yeah
D - So 300.000 including alimony for your daughter?
M - That’s correct, correct…
D - You know, I think they have set up this fucking cause in a poor way…
M - Well she is underage, that’s why she is with her mother…
D - I am not talking about the custody of the child, they set up poorly because if they work and they have a patisserie
M - Well now, now she is working...now they own a patisserie…
D - You should do a little bit of the customer and then investigate a bit… because with the tax form you can obtain something…
M - Very good
D - Keep this in mind, sometimes young, bright guys like youselves don’t…
M - Well young... I am not that young!
D - You have made a position for yourself
M - You know, I am getting busy
D - Well it’s up to you…get moving, come here in Milan we have agencies specialized for… you make a phone call, there are people who might be available, you take a beautiful widow…
M - Haha! Very well
D - With money… Do you get me?
M - I have fully understood what you mean!
D - Quite something else of the washing machine, I don’t have to tell this to you… but you are a boy I am gonna visit when I will be in L’Aquila,
M - Very good, ok…
D - Maybe we eat together
M - Good!
D - Yeah, right?
M - That’s good
D - Look, I like you, I am sorry this fucking lawyer made this situation he hadn’t to do...
M - I don’t know this… have you checked I’ve paid everything I had to?
D - Already checked, everything is in order
M - So you see! Do you see you have changed...you changed the tone of voice?
D - You made a mess because...
M - No I didn’t make a mess, I’ve paid…
D - ..you have paid..
M - Exactly! Ohhhhh, finally we got to the point…
D - ...sometimes they found the customer who is a moron who says “I am going to pay you…”
M - That’s right.. you have noted the detail… you’ve seen Magnotta has paid all and that’s allright...
D - Ma, Magnotta?
M - Ma, Ma!
D - I have something...it doesn’t look like an M
M - Leave it be… it must be that moron of Goodtime, he must have signed under a false name…
D - Simply put, if you want to fix the little contract… maybe you say you don’t accept it and that’s it, but the signature is good
M - Look if we want to go for the, for the things… the signature is not mine, anyway, if we want to find an agreement…
D - Anyway let’s make this: I am going to call you, after all I am always the Director of Sangiorgio
M - Correct
D - Should you be contacted by this fucking Imperiaaa, who is a ball buster, and also the other… what’s his fucking name again…
M - Goodtime
D - Goodtimes, Goodtimes..Paganica, I don’t know a fuck of the Virgin (“Madonna” is the Virgin, mother of Jesus) a village that doesn’t exist…
M - He is from Paganica! And I’ve paid him immediately, cash. Straight away!
D - If they call you, tell them to fuck off and tell them “I’ve already had a conversation with the Director and everything is fine”.
M - Ok, let’s see the situation… yes
D - Otherwise they keep breaking the balls...
M - Listen Director! All this chaos has been caused by Bontempo?
D - He created a fucking chaos! It was a very simple contract, be sure it’s not just you… this part says they don’t pay, the client wants to sue… how can you possibly sue Sangiorgio, it’s just a loss for the client, what the fuck do you want to sue for 500.000…
M - I see…
M - I see…
D - But you don’t have to be worried, I will send a letter saying not to bust balls to mr… Magnotta Mario, so be calm you have fixed with us
M - Oooook
D - then we will talk again to fix the file and the forms…
M - very well…
D - Anyway, be cool and be well, ok?
M - Ok!
D - And...get busy, allright?
M - Very well!
D - And don’t you sleep on the pussy, ok?
M - Haha ok! I don’t sleep, allright..
D - Allright, bye
M - Bye

Call N° 4 (Starring: Magnotta & GoodTimes)

Magnotta: hallo
GoodTimes: hallo,GoodTimes
Magnotta: yes
GoodTimes: ....eeehh...who is,the lady?
Magnotta: no.I'm Magnotta.
GoodTimes: ah,eh,hear,but,the director have phoned to me
Magnotta: yes
GoodTimes: eh,but whaaaaat's happened?
Magnotta: no,nothing is happened,the direct...oh my god with this washing machine.eeehm....the director have phoned to me
GoodTimes: eh?!no he phoned to me
Magnotta: ah,and what i know,i know nothing,i'm at the dark
GoodTimes: but,he's at the dark...
Magnotta: yes
GoodTimes: ....but it seems that happened a mess
Magnotta: but,look that the mess is not happ...
GoodTimes: they take us away the Saint George
Magnotta: ah
GoodTimes: like the thing
Magnotta: ah,like you say?
GoodTimes: they take us away
Magnotta: mh
GoodTimes: the Saint George
Magnotta: yes
GoodTimes: like exclusive
GoodTimes: oh
GoodTimes: De Paolis phoned
Magnotta: mh
GoodTimes: he say:"you are a dirty,a delinquent"
Magnotta: but,sorry,marhjlll,marhjlll,but whit who i'm talking?With GoodTimes?
GoodTimes: eh!
Magnotta: oh.but me,me,look GoodTimpe ,this is a speech that we having make every the others times
GoodTimes: eh
Magnotta: but....what thing i'm entering,I,I have buy the washing machine from you,and i'm payed it and...
GoodTimes: but now yes payed yes,but you miss to lost yes payed,no payed,this have...... nothing importance.....
Magnotta: yes......but this have to me....they,you know that he spoken to me?
GoodTimes: the problem true and proper
Magnotta: yes
GoodTimes: now is that
Magnotta: yes
GoodTimes: oh,i'm make you sign the contract
Magnotta: but what contract,Mister GoodTimes
GoodTimes: but what contract,up
Magnotta: I have no signed nothing contract,holy god,but now is possible that is no finish with this blessed commercial house,this thing,here?I,I personally payed this washing machine....
GoodTimes: but now I have little dues,not?
Magnotta: eh
GoodTimes: oh,you take,not,this dick of things?!
Magnotta: what I have to take?
GoodTimes: the washing machine
Magnotta: but what I must do with this washing machine?
GoodTimes: but
Magnotta: I no want nothing to see with the San George...Perhaps we have no understood.this washing machine is still operating,to my wife!
GoodTimes: but you dont'have,but
Magnotta: I don't have it
GoodTimes: eh,mbeh,take it,not?!
Magnotta: no,I have another,I have a Ignis,that give to me of second hand
GoodTimes: hear,Mario
Magnotta: eh
GoodTimes: buuuut...like is?
Magnotta: yes,Magnotta
GoodTimes: Magnotta
Magnotta: yes
GoodTimes: oh,to talk clear we go
Magnotta: oh,mbeh..yes
GoodTimes: you take this washing machine and we no talk never about her!
Magnotta: no,i'm no take nothing,why i must to take this washing machine,where is write??
GoodTimes: but take it,no??
Magnotta: but why I must to take this washing machine ssssa....co?I no have understood why i must to take the washing machine!
GoodTimes: but you have signed the contract
Magnotta: but what contract?but if I was coming from you and I buy the washing machine,what contract i'm signed?!but holy god
GoodTimes: behind the clauses...
Magnotta: ...but you like that one make stupid himself to the thing??but in short...
GoodTimes: but behind the clauses...
Magnotta: what??
GoodTimes: ...behind the clauses that given to you the monk, now...you are a little blind??
Magnotta: what i know of who are this,now,I...III...blind?? I nonhnhnhnhnhnhn....I don't know for nothing!!hear,GooTì,searching to finish a time forever.I bought the washing machine from you,when has been in the,in the,in the 81,I taked it and I payed it ,on the contrary really I said that:hear,to me it have,can to pay with...
GoodTimes: no,hear,sorry a moment
Magnotta: eh
GoodTimes: but to you when the director have phoned?
Magnotta: two,three days ago
GoodTimes: eh,today is 16 September
Magnotta: eh
GoodTimes: to me today morning he phoned
Magnotta: beh
GoodTimes: and said to me:hear,this Magnotta,what we must to do?I want to save him.but I,he said,to you eliminate the Saint George...at there already I phoned him,so to me nonn...this storys like...
Magnotta: but GoodTì...
GoodTimes: but look that he signed all regular
Magnotta: hear,GoodTì,sorry...
GoodTimes: well then,he maked,no,then this washig machine you must to pay her,I said,but phone to Mister Magnotta,I said him...
Magnotta: but why I must...sorry much mister...thing.but if I the washing machine in the 81 I took it and I payed it to you,and,and...
GoodTimes: at April,480000 liras
Magnotta: eh,oohhh...less evil. after,I don't remember if sa,if,if has coming you or your brother to plug Magnotta: in to me it...
GoodTimes: but give me 7,800 thousands liras,no?
Magnotta: what??
GoodTimes: but give me 7,800 thousands liras??
Magnotta: ..what I must to give you??!
GoodTimes: 7,800 thousands liras and i give you another
Magnotta: but thi...what i must to do with it,holy god,but why I must give you 7,800 thousands liras and you gimme another??
GoodTimes: I have also the hair-drier free
Magnotta: but hear a little....but hear a little a thing,you must to say me a thing:why you want to pal....m ooo,you want to palm off me the washing machine when I don't needed it!
GoodTimes: hear,now here...
Magnotta: disgrace to But Woman!eh
GoodTimes: ...you are signed the contract
Magnotta: misfortune...but what contract,I don't signed nothing contract,I went from you in the 81,when has been and I said to you that I needed a washing machine and I took this blessed washing machine to the her you to me,her to me,you
have also plug in to me,now I don't remember if you,or,not,I don't know who.Oh...It's gone all okay for 4,5,6 years,so far it's gone all okay and now they coming to me to say me the washing machine,not the washing machine...
GoodTimes: It's not like that...
Magnotta: oooohhhhh....
GoodTimes: ...you crash a little the balls,you crash,....because..
Magnotta: aaaahhh....but,hear,look here,here really...I'm a simple,I'm ...I was a simple customer,I went from GoodTime because I knew that GoodTimes was a serious business,I went from you,I taked the washing machine and I'm payed it,now what I'm entering shortly,holy god!
GoodTimes: ya,okay...
Magnotta: of all the mess that you have combinated with the,with the,with the,with the Miss...Five..
GoodTimes: and also you have combinated,...because...
Magnotta: I don't have combinated nothing,because I have the clean conscience,because hear,i taked the washing machine from GoodTime,I don't take her from the Miss Five,how she call...Five-Emperor,I not even know,i not even know she,like is??
GoodTimes: yes,okay,however,here,to talk clear we go...
Magnotta: ...yes...beh...
GoodTimes: ...you take this washing machine.
Magnotta: no,I don't take nothing,you take!!
GoodTimes: then you stay to make the asshole
Magnotta: I I STAY TO MAKE THE ASSHOLE YES!!! HEAR NOW YOU HAVE REALLY CRASHED MY BALLS!!
GoodTimes: ah,now you also talking to me like that?
Magnotta: BUT ,IF,NOW I COMING TO HIM...HEAR A LITTLE A THING,I DON'T WANT THE WASHING MACHINE,OKAY??I..
GoodTimes: ...and we bring it to you!
Magnotta: AND BRING ME,WHOO...AND WHO WILL PAY IT TO YOU??
GoodTimes: ah,you don't pay?
Magnotta: I DON'T PAY,BECAUSE I,HEAR...I...
GoodTimes: but the other,the other then you payed it..
Magnotta: I PAYED ,YES!!
GoodTimes: ah,sure?
Magnotta: OH STEAL IT!! THAT WASHING MACHINE OF 81,I PAYED TO YOU...I PAYED IT...AND HOW NEVER AFTER SIX YEARS YOU COME TO CRASH MY BALLS??!!
GoodTimes: then don't result to me
Magnotta: WHAT?
GoodTimes: don't result to me
Magnotta: BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHEATER YOU...YOU ARE A CHEATER,BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE,DON'T HAVE...DON'T HAVE PAYED IT TO MISS FIVE, because I don't knew that the Saint George's washing machine was in consertion to Miss Emperor,because if not i went from Miss Emperor and not to you!
GoodTimes: ah,yes?
Magnotta: eh!
GoodTimes: ah,you make...also...this dirty things,you
Magnotta: you make this dirty things
GoodTimes: eh
Magnotta: goodbye
GoodTimes: no,wait,now before....
Magnotta: nooo....goodbye
GoodTimes: ...I want to tell you a thing,I want to tell you
Magnotta: hear,tomorrow I go to attorney,
GoodTimes: the director,the director...
Magnotta: already I talking with the attorney for this question
GoodTimes: the Saint George's director
Magnotta: eh
GoodTimes: he phoned me and he say me...
Magnotta: BUT WHAT FUCKING CARE TO ME?I,HEAR,PIG GOD!NOW YOU HAVE CRASHED MY BALLS,BECAUSE IS NOT...I THINK YOU ARE NOT A SERIOUS PERSON.I TAKED THE WASHING MACHINE IN THE 81,NOW AFTER SIX YEARS YOU COME TO CRASH MY BALLS AGAIN!!!
GoodTimes: but...
Magnotta: MISFORTUNE TO GOD, EEEEEH....PIG GOD!!THAT ENOUGH!!YOU HAVE CRASHED MY BALLS!!EVIL TO VIRGIN MARY!!!THAT ENOUGH...WITH THIS WASHING MACHINE!TOMORROW MORNING I BACK TO MY JUDGE,TO MY ATTORNEY AND WE SEE A LITTLE LIKE TO PUT THE QUESTION!
GoodTimes: but what attorney...
Magnotta: BUT WHAT,BUT WHAT FUCK YOU STAY TO SAY ME??IF YOU DON'T PAYED IT,IF YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MESS,WHAT COCK I'M ENTERING??!!WHY YOU WANT PALM OFF TO ME THE
SAINT GEORGE?I WANT TO CLOSE WITH SAN GEORGE,PIG GOD!!NOTHING TO DO,I DON'T WANT TO KNOW NOTHING.YOU HAVE CRASHED MY BALLS.ARE...IS A MONTH THAT YOU CRASHING MY BALLS...OH!!!SEEEE YOU IT,BECAUSE III...THE WASHING MACHINE...OR...SIX YEARS AGO...SEVEN YEARS AGO,WHEN HAS BEEN,I TAKED IT AND I PAYED IT...
GoodTimes: yes,okay,now calme you...you go to take you a water glass and come back...
Magnotta: BUT...EH,CALME,CALME,IS A MONTH THAT YOU STAY TO CRASH MY BALLS,PIG GOD!!IS A MONTH,IS!!
GoodTimes: yes,okay,but...
Magnotta: OOOOHHHH...
GoodTimes: this is the problem:that you enrage uselessy...
Magnotta: BUT WHAT USELESSY,THAT CRASHING MY BALLS YOU SAME,SWINE VIRGIN MARY!!EEEHH....IS A MONTH.I THE WASHING MACHINE HER,HER,HER,HER I PAYED IN THE 81,BY DAMNED THAT DAY I WENT TO BUY HER FROM YOU,PIG GOD!!!THAT BY DAMNED THAT DAY I WENT FROM YOU,EVIL TO BUT WOMAN!!!!BECAUSE I THE WASHING MACHINE I PAYED HER 480000 LIRAS AND I PAYED I...AND WHAT COCK I'M ENTERING ME???WHAT I'M ENTERING WITH ALL THE MESS THAT YOU MAKED WITH THE BUSINESS???!!I'M NO ENTERING NOTHING...I STAY OUT...OF EVERY DISCUSSION.TOMORROW MORNING I BACK TO ATTORNEY AND WE SEE A LITTLE LIKE PUT IN THE THINGS....
GoodTimes: but we will find a solution,no?
Magnotta: BUT WHAT SOLUTION,BUT WHAT SOLUTION,PIG GOD!!BUT WHAT YOU WANT,WHAT YOU WANT SOLU...SOLVEEEHHH...TO SOLVE??!!I DON'T NEEDED THE WASHING MACHINE.I DON'T NEEDED THE WASHING MACHINE,NOR THE FREEZ...THING...
GoodTimes: but so...then...okay,but sorry,you don't needed,but a tomorrow your daughter marry,you give it?
Magnotta: BUT WHAT I FUCKING CARE OF MY DAUGHTER,OF TOMORROW??BUT WHY YOU WANT TO PALM OFF ME THIS WASHING MACHINE,PIG BUT WOMAN!!!!IN TWENTY YEARS MY DAUGHTER MARRY,WHAT I FUCKING CARE IN TWENTY YEARS??!!I DON'T UNDERSTOOD WHY YOU WANT PALM OFF ME THIS BLESSED WASHING MACHINE.I DON'T STILL SUCCEEDED TO UNDERSTOOD THIS.
GoodTimes: but...
Magnotta: I THIS SAME EVENING I PHONE TO MY ATTORNEY AND WE SEE A LITTLE LIKE...
GoodTimes: okay,don't plug in with the attorneys....
Magnotta: NOOOOO....I PLUG IN THE ATTORNEY BECAUSE YOU CRASHED MY BALLS!
GoodTimes: the San George's attorneys...
Magnotta: NOOO.....
GoodTimes: ...make you an ass like a church!
Magnotta: I'm in the place....hear...
GoodTimes: eh
Magnotta: please...I'm in the place,I this blessed washing machine i payed it,i tak....eehhh...
GoodTimes: but take you a freezer,no?
Magnotta: BUT WHAT I FUCKING DOING OF THE FREEZER,IF I HAVE HIM??!BUT WHY YOU WA...YOU WANT TO PALM OFF ME THE STUFF...I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS....WHY YOU WANT TO PALM OOOOFF ME THE STUUUUFFF,PIIIG GOOOOOOD....MISFORTUNE TO VIRGIN MARY!!!YOU MUST TO FINISH SWINE BUT WOMAN,THAT I,DISGRACE TO GOD,I PLUG IN TO YOU A BOMB,EEH!YOU MUST TO FINISH!!MAGNOTTA FOR YOU IS DEAD....IIIS DEEAAAD,SWINE MARYY!!!!
GoodTimes: oh,don't make the delinquent...
Magnotta: BUT DON'T MAKE THE DELINQUENT BUT I MAKEEEE.....REALLY I SIGN TO TERRORISTS,EH!I SIGN TO TERRORISTS,PIIG GOOD!!!
GoodTimes: okay...
Magnotta: eh!
GoodTimes: ...you,we solve the...
Magnotta: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW NOTHING......PIIIG GOOOD!!!!!!
GoodTimes: ...but...what..dick you scream?
Magnotta: BUT WHAT COCK,YOU CRASH MY BALLS,PIG GOOD!I CAN'T MORE OF HIM!!!LEAVE ME TO LOSE,EEH??!
GoodTimes: but we give you...
Magnotta: LEAVE ME TO LOSE,PIIG GOD!!
GoodTimes: but,sorry,but....
Magnotta: NOOOOOO!!NOOOO!!
GoodTimes: but take a...(trunk)